not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
