I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
