I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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