at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
