he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
