Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
