Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
being pregnant is like rehab
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
