i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize