OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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