First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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