We won't sleep together?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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