Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
