Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
