drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
