I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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