he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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