jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
we're so committed to being not committed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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