One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
