Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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