I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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