Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
