It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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