I don't usually arrange sex via text message
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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