A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you never un-have a 4some
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
