I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
