I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
