your thong is hanging out like whoa
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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