how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize