so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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