I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
