Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
