I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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