You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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