she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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