try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
