Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
