so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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