girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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