We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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