How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
