i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
