there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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