butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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