She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize