i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont even know how to be here
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
