Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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