You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
