marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
