If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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