I hate your face
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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