In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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