We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
