Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize