Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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