Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I just didn't expect you to be so naked....

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(909): I just didn't expect you to be so naked.... http://tfl.nu/rjbc

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(269): View more from Michigan

So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

(937): View more from Ohio

Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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(269): So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night. (937): Feels good to be wearing underwear again though... http://tfl.nu/djzk

Replies (2) Good night (3387) Bad night (466)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.

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(419): Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them. http://tfl.nu/vhc8

Replies (42) Good night (5839) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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(807): View more from Ontario

discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.

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(807): discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth. http://tfl.nu/mppt

Replies (29) Good night (5363) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.

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(760): We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends. http://tfl.nu/k3i4

Replies (53) Good night (4720) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

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(760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9

Replies (36) Good night (3444) Bad night (3688) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds

(1-530): View more from California

Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.

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(530): Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds (1-530): Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning. http://tfl.nu/ltqk

Replies (40) Good night (867) Bad night (4472)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs

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(908): Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs http://tfl.nu/h0qb

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(786): View more from Florida

i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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(786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3

Replies (6) Good night (4055) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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(562): View more from California

I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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(562): I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/q7ed

Replies (7) Good night (1277) Bad night (405)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus

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(248): My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus http://tfl.nu/w26d

Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

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(904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7

Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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(902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex

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(815): View more from Illinois

after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.

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(815): after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even. http://tfl.nu/ebz9

Replies (9) Good night (1199) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

How are you feeling?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

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(541): How are you feeling? (1-541): Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am. http://tfl.nu/yuas

Replies (8) Good night (200) Bad night (443)

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