just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize