PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I party with great urgency now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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