Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
