you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and she was petting her beer can
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
