In America we eat man semen.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
