Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
