I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize