I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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