Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
