This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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