After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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