This is not my ceiling
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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