i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize