I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
